This is one of the ones with which I wouldn’t be able to help myself. The door would be propped open. I’d leave an apologetic, explanatory note, of course. Thanks, Kacia!

I do think this one is sweet, actually, and not just because it deals with strawberries, which are always a good thing.

The sweet part is the sign-maker’s concern for your well-being. You don’t want to get stuck in this shop trying strawberry sundaes forever, see. You just want to do it for a limited time.

As for the other… I can’t decide if it might have been improved by an apostrophe in “Sundaes,” and the fact that I’m even pondering that gives me hives.

ETA: Thanks to Chris H. for sending this in!

Ever heard of  Reckitt Benckiser LLC?

I hadn’t either. But it turns out they’re a pretty big deal. Here are some blurbs from their investor information sheet:

Okay, I put that last bullet in there.

Because one of their products is Mucinex, and aside from one of the grossest “mascots” ever, Mucinex has inflicted this on Kacia and the world:

Can’t we just (make sure that) all (subjects and verbs) get along, Mucinex?

Thanks, Kacia!

I wish this were an April Fool’s joke, y’all.

I will stipulate at the very beginning here that I know Mamasource is just a deal broker, and that their… er, creative writing is not to be blamed on the actual product distributor. But my understanding about other deal-brokering sites is that the ads are approved by the companies in question. If that’s not the case here, it needs to be. (Are you listening, Sproutkin?)

Yes, people, that’s right: this product, when given to your pre-literate children, will help he or she to achieve milestones.

Milestones like becoming President of the United States, maybe? I’m sorry, I can’t help it, this ad just totally reminds me of our 43rd President and his “You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test” doozie. But at least that was spoken aloud by a man who famously disliked teleprompters. This, presumably, was vetted by advertising professionals.

Sigh.

This is one I see a lot, actually. I always wonder to myself, “I wonder what alarmed it? And how can I help calm it down?”

A quick search seems to indicate that I’ve never bothered to photograph any of the times I’ve seen this and had my little internal conversation. So thanks much to Lisa R. for sending this one in.

It’s an especially lovely specimen because of the BONUS poor construction that gives us “Do not pass unless: to carriers of a ‘fob’.”

Which: no.