If there is any Twitter exchange IN THE WORLD more suited for rebooting Red Pen Brigade, I don’t know what it could possibly be. Votes, people: are we laughing or crying?

The owners of this fine establishment concede that “4” is a silly abbreviation for a word that’s only two characters longer than the number (and zero characters longer than the number and quotation marks). They refuse, however, to make the same concession about the much more complicated word “you.”

I mean, people abuse quotations all over the place. We know this. But if there’s a place you want to not do that, it’s in reference to a specific service at a specific price. Just don’t. Thanks, GrammarTroika Sister #1!

…because this is gonna give y’all hives. I guess we could all imagine that this was designed by a very sarcastic employee who was taking dictation from her boss at the time. Right? Thanks, GrammarTroika Sister #2!

I don’t even know what this one is. I mean, it’s obviously a punctuation error, but this isn’t even a place I’d normally use punctuation, so. Mmm ice cream. Thanks, GrammarTroika Sister #2!

Reporter #1 finds the most interesting… can we even call them errors? Maybe? I mean, this seems likely to be incorrect, no matter how you spin it. But I suppose there is an explanation out there in the world that would make it acceptable. I’d just like to know the story!

Kacia sent this one. I know it’s wrong, of course, but: I’ve *had* new olives, and they’re gross. You want an olive that’s aged a little and has spent some time in some brine. So perhaps the author here was just acknowledging the fact that olives newly-arrived to a store for sale are, in fact, …read more.

Kacia ponders, I honestly have no idea what purpose these quotes are supposed to serve. If they were there for emphasis (as incorrect as that is), they should be around the word ‘no’.  Is pseudo-trash the disallowed commodity? Who knows! Maybe the author is a hard-core environmentalist who believes that most of the material we …read more.

Jake says, I guess a company with such a liberal application of the letter “x” has to be given some leeway. But Jake is wrong. Some errors you just can’t forgive. Or unsee. You’re on my list, T.J. Maxx.

…even if they’d correctly used an apostrophe! Just because it’s awesome! Thanks, Lisa R.