Okay, so, Middle East-o-phile compadres?  Remember molokhia, that slimy stuff that actually kind of grew on you (where by “you” I mean “me”) after you ate it for all that time?  I’m craving some of that right now.

Anyway, back to the HIDEOUSNESS.  I’m minding my own business with an episode of Chopped (please don’t cancel this, Food Network!), and oh look, they’re pulling some green stuff out of their baskets, and I see this on my screen:

This is one of those “thank goodness for the DVR” moments, because we had to pause while I took a minute to blow a gasket.

First of all:  molokhia is called “JEW’S MALLOW”?  What what?  I am so in love with the universe right now.  That is an awesome name.

Secondly, can we talk about how there’s not an apostrophe in that “JEWS MALLOW” label?  The internet quickly illustrates for me that some fairly respectable sources have quit using the apostrophe, but no, I’m sorry, that makes my teeth hurt.  Apostrophe up, people.

And lastly?  I’ll give you a second.  Oh, and I should mention that you should go learn to read Arabic.  I’ll wait.

Back already?  Do you see it?  Do you see it???  10,000 arghs.  What the heck did you do, Food Network, copy the label of the molokhia you bought at your local Arab foods grocery store and fail to notice that your word processing software was inputting the letters left to right?  Did you bother to subsequently compare the word on your generic label with the word you were aiming to copy?  I know it’s all squiggles, but a critical examination might have indicated you had a problem.

!deppohC, selggig eht rof sknahT

ETA: For those of you not lucky enough to have studied Arabic, here’s how it SHOULD look:

vs.

When you write right-to-left, it joins like cursive.  PLUS, they used the wrong “k” sound (they should have used “kh”).  Major Arabic disaster, Food Network.